____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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