I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
