do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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