Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
