Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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