New low: just hacked my moms facebook
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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