I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
