i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
