YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
