I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize