drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
