At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
