Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
