Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
