you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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