This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
