found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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