All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
