I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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