When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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