I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
