those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
