i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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