He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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