Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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