yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
