found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
