Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize