he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
