Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
