if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
