What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
