you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
They have beer where we have blood.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
