Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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