im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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