I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
