Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
