Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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