Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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