You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
