I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This toilet bowl is my home.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
