I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
