So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
