I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
