how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
