I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
