3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
