Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize