I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize