Rock
Scissors
Fuck
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
