Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
