I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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