Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
