Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
