I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When did angry sex become our thing?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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