I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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