Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
