I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
