Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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