You work out of a Hotel?
i love accidental penises.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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