i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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