I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
