I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
They left me at home... I'm a liability
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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