Pappa wants mamma naked
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How naked do you want me to be?
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