no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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