i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize