Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
