hotel room ftw
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
