i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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