I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
