bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
