i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
