You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
