I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
